I am Crying Woman

Cricket or Cookie. Those are my favorite nicknames John likes to call me.

Booger or Munchkin are under the unfavorable category.

 John has created yet another name for me. In Korean, I am 우는 여자 (uneon yeoja) which translates to “crying woman.” Whenever I am sad and my soul is as raw as a peeled potato, He calls me “Une” and holds me until the feeling passes.

I’m not going type a list of insecurities because most bullet points are lies and unworthy of acknowledgement. Instead, here’s my first poem on this blog (:

I know Him.

the devil taps the mirror
for attention.
today he starts on my stomach,
the presence of it,
when I bend and pick up
the soap in the shower.
I close my eyes but he still speaks.
he dares me to list trophies and money
made in my name.
he questions my freedom
& says I stand alone.
he recites words, the heavy stones,
& fight I couldn’t fling back.
he knows all their voices.
he knows my filth
and parades it.

So I hide
like a child
in a shallow hole.
I ask God for confidence,
for a mind and beauty that amaze,
but he calls me more than such things,
He loves what He makes.
I ask God for grace,
eyes that see flowers all over my skin
instead of sin.
I ask for triumph.
He’s won, I know it.
I ask for new clothes,
soaked and dyed in love.
He covers me, I know it.