You know you’re pregnant when…

your chest looks strange so you self-diagnose breast cancer before suspecting pregnancy. (my story)

you’re about to go out for national margarita day and decide to pee on a stick just in case. Ta-dah! Make that margarita a virgin! (my sister’s story)

you’ve moved into a new house and boxes are everywhere, and who really wants to clean anyway? When your preggers test says positive, woooo there’s your motivation to start nestin’! (my sister-in-law’s story)

you’re so sick and miserable, your husband googles the hek out of morning sickness and picks up B2 vitamins and pressure point wristlets from Wal-mart. That, my friends, is the definition of sexeh.

you wake up craving a hot pocket. 

you’re hungry every 2 hours. 

your dog eats too quickly and throws up on the floor. You take one look at the mess and run out the door to vomit your lunch on the lawn. Mom nearly dies laughing and cleans up both incidences. 

people no longer make eye contact with you. They make eye contact with your belly.

your friends give you food as gifts. Food is love.

your youtube history is filled with prenatal yoga and pilates videos.

you see other pregnant women everywhere.

your husband asks, “Are you getting enough folic acid?” And you smile because someone’s been reading his future daddy book.

cheese is liiiife.

you have a pup talk with your dogs and reassure them that they’re still your babies too.

you’re SO TIRED.

you can’t tell if you feel nauseous, hungry, gassy, or you just need to poo.

after every shower, you rub shea butter all over your body and emerge as a glazed donut.

you nap like a goddess. 

you visit the zoo and find out that mommy elephants are pregnant for 22 months. Nine months doesn’t seem so long anymore.

your pinterest is filled with nursery décor.

your thoughts revolve more around meals than the actual birth.

the hair on your head looks the same but your arm hair is extra long and shiny.

you peak over your husband’s shoulder and see he’s no longer researching cars. He’s researching car seats.

you ask your mom about birth and she explains, “It feels like someone is stabbing you in the back. Then the knife is taken out and shoved right back in.”

you thank God after every bowel movement.

you’re certain those baby kicks aren’t gas bubbles anymore.

you’re bummed when hubby shoots down your favorite baby name…then you still add it to the list because really, who’s pushing this baby out?

highlighting your belly is your new fashion trend, and so is pairing up dresses with tennis shoes.

you want everyone to get married and have a baby ASAP.

Please comment your mama symptoms below (:

Author: mypoemgirl

I enjoy thrift stores, baking healthy-ish desserts, dancing to elevator music, and hikes all around the world.

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